I'm not even into astrology but this was super accurate and insightful.
— Beta tester
Chapter One · Payroll
Twelve people are already working for you. You've just never been introduced.
Your brain was given an org chart the moment you were born. Problem is, you weren't told — and the employees... well. They may have been placed in departments that aren't expected. And they have opinions about it.
If you keep getting in your own way at work, this is the staff meeting that explains why.
Free · 10 minutes · weirdly accurate
Chapter Two · The Org Chart
Twelve desks. Twelve people. They are all running You Inc.
Maybe your Marketing department is empty and that's why the clients aren't coming. Maybe your CEO works in the basement on a passion project while nobody runs operations. Maybe your Thought Leadership department is stacked and you still haven't figured out how to turn any of it into money.
These are the employees running the business of you that are either making a well-oiled machine, or creating bad feedback loops. With twelve jobs you get twelve personalities. Twelve strong opinions about what you should do next. A few are brilliant. A few are on vacation. One of them is almost certainly running HR without supervision.
This is the reading — who's actually doing what, who manages whom, and why You Inc keeps running the way it does.
Chapter Three · The Debrief
Why do you always do that?
Once you know who your employees are, what they're focused on, and who works well with who, you finally have the org chart. Which means you can finally answer the questions you've been quietly asking: Why do I get in my own way? Why can't I articulate what makes me different? Why does strategy come so easy and promotion feel so hard?
Maybe now the answer is “because your CEO is hanging out in the basement in R&D instead of running the company.” Or whichever version is true for yours. The reading doesn't tell you what to do. It names what's happening.
Chapter Four · Alumni Network
What past readers wrote back.
I ran it. This was crazy accurate! It felt like I was sitting in a conference room, listening to all the different elements of my personality sit me down for an intervention. That was hilarious.
— Danielle
Becca — I just did your company in your head. First I loved being roasted, but more importantly the "what is Jess Inc. good at?" was real. And really on point. And accurate.
— Jess, after a thorough roasting
Mine is pretty impressive and saying the things I have been rattling around in my head lately.
— Josh
Company in my head was astonishingly accurate and really understood me with little information outside of my birth chart. Definitely useful information about myself that will help me moving forward.
— Jess
That was pretty beautiful, actually. The core of who I am and the job I have now are fairly close to the same thing.
— Sarah
Damn man. That's too accurate.
— Sarah
I die. You have to send to him! He knows we are chatting because I keep cackling.
— Liz
Chapter Five · Fine Print
Don't believe in astrology?
Fine. See if astrology believes in you.
Your birth chart is the data source — the raw material we use to build the twelve-person company in your head. You don't have to buy into it any more than you have to buy into Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, or whichever personality quiz the last business coach handed you. Read what your inner employees have to say and decide whether it rings true.
Half the readers who liked it most didn't believe in it either. They're the ones who screenshot and sent it to their besties.
Chapter Six · Enroll
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